3 Simple Words To Tell Yourself When Nothing Goes Right

Last week, I attended a free webinar hosted by Leo Babauta of zen habits about deep commitment and focus. The webinar itself was extremely valuable with some great takeaways, but throughout the webinar I heard three very simple words that’s resonated with me. The 3 words:

“That’s totally fine.”

These 3 words probably seemed insignificant in the grand scope of things. Leo possibly might not even remember saying this phrase throughout. However, it was one of the most powerful takeaways I got from the hour plus webinar and it’s what I want to share with you all today. Just to clarify, this is not a recap of the webinar, but rather me expanding on a small quote that I believe can be a huge help on handling difficult situations.

Dealing with negative emotions

We strive to do our very best and accomplish as much as possible. The pressure from this can lead to a lot of negative emotions, such as anxiety. With too much on our plate, it is easy to drop the ball and not be able to accomplish everything we set out to do. This is when structure plays an important role in our lives. On the other hand, we might half-commit and not be completely satisfied with the performance or the results. When either of these things happen, remember… that’s totally fine.

This is not to make a way to make excuses, but to remind ourselves that in this crazy world we live in, things will not always go our way.

We are human beings. We will face many obstacles in life. Especially those of us that strive to better ourselves every day and become successful, whatever we determine success to be in our own minds. Along the way we will experience failure, fear, doubt and an overload of other emotions. We will even have days that we feel lazy, unmotivated, or bored. The important thing when this happens is to accept these feelings and embrace them. There will always be tomorrow to start over. While this might seem like procrastination, sometimes the best thing we can do is accept the situation and evaluate how to approach it moving forward. Say the words out loud:

That’s totally fine. It’s totally fine that I am feeling this way.

“It’s not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.” -Abraham Lincoln

R&R

We will all have days where nothing goes right. Your alarm might not go off in the morning, you miss your train, walk in late to an important meeting at work and get reprimanded by your boss. This could even have a spiral effect to you getting into a fight with your significant other. When it rains, it pours.

When this happens, we will feel extremely discouraged, to the point where motivation might be lost. If you start to feel too many negative emotions, it is OK to take a break. Take a moment, or day if possible, to yourself and perform R&R (Rest and Relaxation).**

To learn more about the importance of rest days check out this post.

Practice self-acceptance

Too often we beat ourselves up when we feel we didn’t accomplish enough or do a great job on a project. While it is important to learn from our mistakes so we can improve for the future, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. Because that just leads to:

Discouragement. Anxiety. Being Overwhelmed.

…all the negative feelings I mentioned earlier. To avoid this you need to practice self-acceptance. There is beauty in taking a break and reflecting on how far you have grown. In giving yourself some slack and acknowledging you are human. In being ok with failure as long as you are trying your best and won’t give up.

Next time something does not go your way: if you weren’t able to check off everything on your to-do list, if you just didn’t feel the motivation to write in your journal or blog, if you weren’t 100% satisfied with your work on your latest project, or if you are just having a bad day overall, try taking one deep breathe saying those 3 simple words:

“That’s totally fine.”

And realize that everything will be just that… totally fine.

Best,

Eric

**(On Saturday 11/21, I will be taking an entire day of rest and relaxation. I will be disconnected from technology. That means no phone, no computer and no television. Absolutely no work will be done. It will be a day of self-reflection, meditation, and appreciation for everything I have in life. Here is an update on how it went.