How to Deal with Immaturity

Immaturity

The older I get, the more difficult I find it is to deal with immature people. Close relationships with immature people can hurt your quality of life as they are usually unreliable and self-centered. Furthermore, it can be difficult and exhausting to deal with these types of people for long periods of time, and quite frankly, it is unnecessary to have immature people in your life.

Dealing with somebody mature is much more liberating and will make you feel a lot better. Mature people are more likely to help you grow in your career and life, give better advice, and are more trustworthy and reliable. As I have evolved in the past handful of years into an “adult”, I continue to find maturity to be a trait I cherish in others more and more.

Let’s take a look at some of the detriments of being around immature people in your life:

Immature Friends

The value of having great friends cannot be understated. They say you are the sum of the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. If this is true, and I believe it is, you want to make sure you are always surrounding yourself with positive people who are high-achieving; friends who will lift you up to make you a better person. Immature people will not do this. The literal definition of immature is “not fully developed”, and it is difficult to imagine a person who is not fully developed being able to help you improve in any way.

Being on the path to become the best version of yourself is a very mature decision to make. Immature friends will not understand as their priorities will be different and not aligned with yours. Immature people typically have a short-term outlook and want instant gratification. As you mature, you realize that sometimes you have to sacrifice short-term pleasure for long-term gain.

You might want to consider cutting back the time you spend with these friends, or completely cutting them out of your life. While completely cutting a friend out of your life might sound harsh, you do have to consider if they are helping you in any way. It is not an easy decision to make, but it is a very mature decision, and sometimes unfortunately necessary.

It also helps to make friends with people who are older than you are. Typically, we mature more as we age, so hanging around an older crowd will help you grow and learn more.

Immature Life Partner

Having dated and been in relationships has helped me realize that maturity is the #1 quality I look for in a life partner. After ending my last long-term relationship of 2 years, I realized that she was immature. Her actions afterward confirmed these thoughts. I say this because I can speak from first-hand experience, spending a huge amount of time with an immature person is an extremely difficult and exhausting task. And there are seldom more people you spend time with than your life partner.

Having a life partner who is mature most likely means that they can take care of themselves and allows you both to be in a partnership, rather than have you feel as if you are babysitting them. Two mature people will also be on the same wavelength, allowing you to grow together and become the best team possible.

Others

There will be other people in your life that you come across that are immature. Your best bet is to spend as little time with them as possible. The moment you realize they are immature is the moment you should begin distancing yourself. Immature people may seem fun to be around at first, however, they are never going to be good, reliable friends. You want to surround yourself with a support system for when you go through difficult life events. Immature people rarely stick around during your toughest times.

It is important to quickly identify if the person is immature when you meet them, so you know:

1. Not take anything they say at face value
2. Distance yourself from them

Other Notes on Immature People

• Immature people will have no respect for your time, which is arguably your most valuable asset.
• If somebody tells you that they are immature, believe them.
• Immature people typically only think short-term. It is important you remember your long-term goals.
• Remember that you will have different priorities and life goals than someone who is immature.
• Seldom can you help somebody grow out of immaturity.
• A little immaturity from time to time can be okay (ya know, like fart jokes).

What if I am Immature?

The fact that you are reading this and on a journey to becoming the best version of yourself leads me to believe that you are not immature. However, if you are still not convinced, let’s explore a little deeper.

Do you respect others? Are you in touch with your emotions? Do you keep your promises? Are you independent? Are you constantly trying to learn?

If the answer to these all is yes, you are definitely mature. If the answer to most of these is yes, you are on the right path and still mature. And if the answer to most or all of these is no, you may want to re-evaluate how you have been treating others in your life and what you can do to grow. Somethings that you can do to become a more mature person include:

• Make an effort to follow through on all of your commitments and promises.
• Don’t overpromise if you don’t plan on following through.
• Accept that you have emotions and embrace them all from happiness to anger to fear to sadness.
• Learn at least one new thing everyday.
• Do things on your own to become more independent.

How do you deal with immature people? Let me know in the comments or email me at eric@ericgolban.com!

Best,

Eric